The never knowing what will come next.
I was never one for surprises.
I hate it. I hate crying.
I hate being vulnerable.
I want to not like you,
but there’s just something about you I can’t seen to get myself over.
The weeks of happiness.
The weeks of sadness.
Do you even know half of what you put me through?
What your still putting me through?
The nights I stayed up crying because of you?
You don’t know.
I want to say fuck you,
but then can’t because this week is a good week.
I love those weeks.
I’m at my happiness and I don’t want to lose it.
But then I know sooner or later the bad weeks will come.
Why couldn’t it be simpler?
Why do we live so far away from each other?
You say you were going to try this time.
I see no change.
It frustrates me.
My friends tell me to ignore you.
But I’m getting to that point.
No scratch that,
I am at that point where whatever happens,
It saddens me,
making me feel like a stupid little girl.
But whatever I’m done with the crying.
The mental breakdowns.
I like you and still will like you,
but I’m giving up on my side.
I’m done trying.
Until I see change on your side,
I’m not gonna care.