shit happens.

Headache.

Heartache.

Bodyache.

The never knowing what will come next.

I was never one for surprises.

I hate it. I hate crying.

I hate being vulnerable.

It sucks.

I want to not like you,

but there’s just something about you I can’t seen to get myself over.

The weeks of happiness.

The weeks of sadness.

Do you even know half of what you put me through?

What your still putting me through?

The nights I stayed up crying because of you?

No,

you don’t.

You don’t know.

I want to say fuck you,

but then can’t because this week is a good week.

I love those weeks.

I’m at my happiness and I don’t want to lose it.

But then I know sooner or later the bad weeks will come.

Why couldn’t it be simpler?

Why do we live so far away from each other?

Why?

You say you were going to try this time.

I see no change.

It frustrates me.

My friends tell me to ignore you.

I can’t.

But I’m getting to that point.

No scratch that,

I am at that point where whatever happens,

happens.

It saddens me,

making me feel like a stupid little girl.

But whatever I’m done with the crying.

The confusion.

The mental breakdowns.

Everything.

Yeah,

I like you and still will like you,

but I’m giving up on my side.

I’m done trying.

Until I see change on your side,

I’m not gonna care.

Goodbye headaches.

Goodbye heartaches.

Goodbye bodyaches.

</3

Nevermind. I’m not gonna do my idea. Too much work for me.

Anyways check out my flickr.com/photos/xxblckroses comment my photos on how you feel about them. Thanks.

I hate some of my friends. Well not hate, but they like to bring down my mood to the point where I’m crying now. Thanks guys. It was fucking greatly appreciated. Did I want your opinion on him? Did I ask for it? No I fucking did not. Bullshit when you told me “I know what your feeling, I did the same thing to you when I was going through it. No it doesn’t get old. Blah blah blah shit.” Oh and now you say you only said it because you don’t want me to get hurt and want me to find someone. I don’t give a shit. I want what I want and I will try and fucking get what I fucking want. I dont want Asshole, I don’t want your ex’s bestfriend, I don’t want fucking emotional texas boy, I don’t want random new guy, I don’t want your ex boyfriend from freshman year, I want him. You just don’t fucking get it, and probably never will. Ugh I feel like thunderstorm is the only one that wants me to be happy even though he does tell me not to get my hopes up too high, which I am doing that. It may seem to them that I’m like “omgg he’s talking to me again yay” which I kinda am but also because he is my friend and I missed talking to him. But I’m not doing shit. He’s gonna work for it. Which so far he has somewhat. It’s more than he did before. And that’s a start. Whatever you just go back to your other bestfriend that you seem to forget our plans and make with her. Makes no difference to me. You did this before. It’s nothing new. Sorry for if anyone is actually reading this and it seems like everything is all jumbled up, but that’s how my mind is, jumbled up. I can’t fucking think straight and i’ve had this headache for about 4 days. But whatever. I’m done with this post. I have an idea for a new one.